On June 16th I got my first shot of hormones (testosterone). The emotions I was feeling that first shot were all over the place. I was nervous, scared, anxious, excited, thrilled, and so many more it would take a book to list them all. Of course when something exciting is happening in your life you tend to me flooded with emotions at that time. When I go see a new doctor I get nervous about meeting them and how they are going to be and of course now I think of whether they are accepting of my trans status. Prior to seeing this doctor though I did research on her and she had a lot of knowledge and experience with trans people in my community. Most trans people I know actually go to her for hormone therapy as well so it helped in my process. If you know of anyone who already sees an endocrinologist in your community you should reach out to them and see how they are and what kind of experience they have with them. This is at least a good place to start.
Like any doctor I got there and it’s a waiting game to actually go back there to see them so of course my nerves were even higher at this point. Once the doctor came in she went through my medical history with me and wanted to verify everything was correct. Then she did a many physical on me to make sure that I was of good health overall. She asked me if I was ready to transition, if my job knew, if I had support, etc. These I am sure are some of the common questions you will be asked prior to receiving hormone treatment. She didn’t go into how I knew I was trans or how long I’ve known or anything like that which made me comfortable since I had already gone through all of that with my therapist so she should have all that information in the letter. One thing she wanted to make sure of was that I wasn’t suicidal due to my other attempts at suicide in the past.
Once she went through my medical history she went over the effects testosterone will or possibly could have on my body. Some of the effects that of course I am looking forward to and some that I am not looking forward to. Also some of the more cautious ones like thickening of the blood. One thing she said I could do to help with the thickening of the blood is to give blood every 6 months or so. I didn’t think about that, but on the other hand I passed out the last time I gave blood so I tend to be a little cautious about that. Once she went over everything she had the nurse come in and explain to my partner and I how to give me the shot. She let my partner give it to me for the first time which she was nervous for because she wasn’t prepared to give me my shot that day. I had to laugh while my ass cheek was hanging out I heard the nurse say to her hold it like you are throwing a dart and it will go right in. I thought oh lord the needle is going to get thrown into my butt. It was quite comical considering how big the needle is that you use to inject the hormones. You use a 18 gauge needle to draw the testosterone up and a 21 gauge needle to inject it. Both are big ass needles so it was easy to let my girlfriend do it because that way I didn’t actually see what was going on and I couldn’t see the needle. I think doing my own shot will be tedious because I’ll be nervous of injecting it myself.
So far I have not felt a difference which of course I knew would happen. I did have a little tickle in the back of my throat which they said could happen and to be aware of. Other than that I have had no other side effects or effects of the testosterone so far. My next shot will be on Friday and than at my 4th or 5th shot I will have to get my blood work done for her to check my testosterone levels as well as my blood count. Than I go for a follow up visit with her in a month. I have to say I am happy and relieved that I am finally on testosterone. It feels like I am finally starting to become who I was meant to be in the first place.